Christmas Horror!

Ah, Christmas! A magical time filled with colored lights, falling snow, and visits from old St Nick. Yet colored lights can’t hide the fact that each day it gets darker earlier and stays dark longer. Falling snow is awfully good at making footprints look strangely shaped or just covering them up all together. And isn’t there something creepy about someone dressed in red walking around on rooftops crawling down your chimney at night, when you’re sound asleep? In this column, I’ll be talking about Christmas movies that take a very different view of the holiday, one where ghosts, monsters, and some not-very-nice Santas have their own ideas on how to celebrate the season.

Let’s start by talking about the most adapted Christmas story of all time: Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol. There are dramatic adaptations (the classic 1951 version starring Alistair Sim and the 1984 version starring George C. Scott), musical versions (Scrooge starring Albert Finney), animated versions (A Christmas Carol featuring Jim Carrey), animated musical versions (Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol), and even one featuring The Muppets (The Muppet Christmas Carol starring Michael Caine).

One of the pleasures/hurdles of the holiday season are visits from friends and family, though they usually don’t involve mass slaughter, unlike the unwelcome visitors in our next group. Among the first seasonal horror films, Black Christmas (1974), spins a tale about a deranged killer who hides in the attic of a sorority house at the beginning of Christmas break. Featuring a never-fully seen psychopath whose phone call rantings are chilling, the film is a scary treat that shouldn’t be watched alone. (The film’s director, Bob Clark, would later direct a very different take on the holiday: A Christmas Story.) Sometimes the killer isn’t an outsider, as in the recent Better Watch Out, where a babysitter discovers the boy she’s watching has some very dark plans for her. Even holiday presents can be dangerous if you don’t follow instructions, as in the movie Gremlins. Fondly remembered by many, the film is surprisingly dark, with the deadly creatures running amok, and a darkly comic “Why-I-Hate-Christmas” character speech based on a famous urban legend.

Then there’s that avatar of Christmas cheer: Santa Claus. Even when it’s the real Santa and not a maniac dressed as him (Silent Night, Deadly Night 2), the “jolly old elf” can be dangerous. The film Rare Exports follows a Finnish community that finds its children under threat when a research team unearths a burial tomb, discovering an old man with a white beard and very strict ideas about “naughty” and “nice”.  And what about that evil Christmas demon who punishes naughty children? The film Krampus shows what happens when a child whose family has lost the Christmas spirit meet up with the titular creature and his malevolent toys.

There you have it: a few treats to chill your spine and keep you awake on Christmas Eve, listening for footfalls on your roof. A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good FRIGHT!